So this begs the question...is a theoretical day-O-fun almost as good as a real day-O-fun? What happens to two people who have had a purely fantastical 'relationship' when they come face to face? Are they disappointed that the other does not resemble the fantasy partner they have imagined? Are they disappointed with the loss of illusion? Is it like going behind the scenes at Disneyland? Does the magic fizzle? Is it like seeing KISS without their make-up on? Gene Simmons was far better looking before the make-up came off. Some of us don't look the same as we did in high school thighs and asses have grown larger, wrinkles have grown deeper, age has set in.
The idea scares me.
The idea scares me for many reasons. I cherish this relationship, I know that it has its limits but I enjoy the candidness and the openness and the trust that this limited relationship has grown into. I don't want to lose that. As well I fear that if the illusion is gone then what it is that I have to offer also disappears. In other words, my concern is that all have to offer to maintain the interest of my limited relationship partner IS the fantasy. Once the fantasy is gone does the interest fade? Should we risk it?
I want to. I want to risk it so badly. I want to roll into town, meet my partner and have a fun carefree day and night together (and by night, I don't necessarily mean bow chica wow woww) no time constraints, no limits, just a relaxing and rewarding day for two old friends together.
But...I worry. A lot. I worry that all I have to offer is wrapped up in the imagination of my partner, and that the reality of me won't live up to fantasy.
So, is a theoretical day-O-fun better than a real day-O-fun? My heart says no but my head worries that if his fantasy dies that weekend then I will forever regret it.
Perhaps my insecurities have taken over but, is there more to me than being the 'girl who got away'...
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